Since we were born, there have been so many people who have come into our live at different stages; nevertheless, not all are still in our lives today.
There are those we don’t even think much about, others are now deceased, while others, though alive, we parted ways long ago, nonetheless they are constantly in our memories.
Without doubt, there are people whom, when you look back at your life, you say, “Were it not for so and so, I really don’t know where I would have been today.”
They may have stuck with you for just a short while but were a great help and seems to have been divinely sent at the very time you really needed them.
Even so, these are persons who left a lasting mark in your life that fills you with gratitude whenever you remember them.
All the same, there are other times in your life when you say, “Were it not for so and so my life would have not been in such a mess.” This is simply because when you remember them, you do not do so for the good they did but for the ills they did to you.
At times you cry bitterly when you remember what you went through and maybe you are still going through for their sake.
On the other hand, there are those who came into our lives and have stuck with us to date despite our weakness or inadequacies. These are persons we like being with, we enjoy their company; we trust them and can let them into our hearts. We know they would always be there for us even at our very lowest moments. We can access them anytime with much ease and they seem never to tire or shy away from us.
Some of these persons are our relations, husbands, wives, partners, children and some true friends.
Still, there are those that came into our lives but turned out to be just users, they seem very friendly but they are not really true. They will seem to laugh with you when you are laughing but they know fairly well that they are just pretenders.
They will mourn with you when you mourn but laugh at you from the inside and happy that you are faced with grievous situations.
They will eat and drink with you but when they leave, stub you in the back.
A majority of those who come into our lives fall in the above category; all the same, they have their role – they help awaken or sharpen our instincts – they help us become more alert, more cautious even as more persons come into our lives.
They help us become more knowledgeable on how to dig deeper into the lives of those who may come in our lives in the near future, masquerading themselves as ‘holy angels’ yet ‘Satan.’
As a result, we are able to evade being their victims again and again in different circumstances.
There are others that came into our lives but were a constant pain to us; though we never liked being around some or all of them, circumstances forced us to be together at particular times e.g. at home, work, school, college, university etc.
I suppose that you who are reading this post right now are still in a situation that demands that you come face to face with those who cause pain in your life.
I bet that you hate the fact that you have to be around a person or persons that cause pain in your life.
It is absolutely understandable; none enjoys being in any form of pain, be it physical, psychological or emotional – we all dread pain, we exhibit our intolerance to it by the way we react when in any form of it.
Even so, one thing must be clear to us; a majority of persons if not all, who come into our lives, come for a reason. Even the pain causers have a reason as to why they are or come into our lives and indeed, they (pain causers) will always exist – we may not like that fact but it is true. You may as well be considered by others as their pain causer.
Certainly, some of those who cause pain in our lives play a very vital role – they test our tolerance/patience. They help us know something about our own selves – our own attitude, our weaknesses or strength and particularly when under pressure in their presence.
It is possible that some people’s reactions have shocked you at one point or the other; maybe you never imagined that so and so would act the way they acted when one of their pain causers happened to have been around while you were there.
You may have cringed and wished that the grounds would open up under you and swallow you alive when you heard their fouled mouth – something you had never heard before.
These are people you may have thought all along that were very good. However, after seeing their reactions towards those that cause them pain, you might have changed your perception towards them.
Thus, unless that pain causer had come into their lives at a particular time that made them react the way they did – you would have continued living in deception with regards to your thinking about them.
On the other hand, those whom you thought aren’t that good may shock you when you learn how well they deal with those who seem to cause pain in their lives.They seem very cool, calm and collected when handling those who cause them pain – they exhibit a great level of patience.
As a result, you change your attitude towards them and even begin to esteem them highly than you had before.
Therefore, it is important to note that the more your tolerance is tested, the more it becomes established – the more you learn to be forbearing. This is only possible when we are under pressure and those that cause us pain help a great deal to increase and establish our level of tolerance.
Consequently, it is important that you begin appreciating the fact that you have been and have to keep dealing with people in your life at different stages that are pain causers.
Despite the fact that they rub you the wrong way, they are in your life for a reason – they help you became a better person, they hand you good experience that would be helpful; especially when you are faced with more complex persons in different circumstances in future. Furthermore, the experience they hand you could be helpful to others.
I now leave you with an assignment:
1. Be thankful for those that have left any mark in your life, be it a mark that brings you joy or that rekindles painful memories.
2. Forgive those that you hold grudge against and draw the lessons you were expected to have drawn from your encounter with them; then move on.
3. Always, be keen to know why someone is in your life at any given time frame.
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